Hi!
And welcome to another edition of the Monthly Connection.
It sure is good to see you!
If you’re someone who lives in my neck of the woods (you know, that thing called the Northern Hemisphere) you’ve probably been noticing the ever increasing amount of light that’s been building up these last few months.
Soon, this light show will culminate in the Summer Solstice, that magical day with the most amount of light!
Yahoo!
Object Permanence Alert!
In the Southern Hemisphere, the opposite light show is happening, simultaneously, even though we can’t see it!
That’s Object Permanence in action! See the April Monthly Connection
Now, where were we… ah, yes, the light!
I like to think (and I hope you do too) that our time here together, has been a lot like the Summer Solstice, “shedding more and more light” on the systems of Connection and Disconnection.
You might even say our time “in the light” is enlightening.
(Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)
Speaking of light, this is a great place to review the Fundamentals of Connection:
And now, let’s shed some light on a new tool for our tool box…
It’s called Lingering!
I’m talking about Lingering as in the Art of Learning and Training Ourselves to STAY…like the Sun on the Summer Solstice!
Lingering in the light has both physical and behavioral benefits.
PHYSICAL BENEFITS OF LINGERING IN THE LIGHT
Literally, the sunlight brings many wonderful things to us human beings. Two biggies are Vitamin D and the Circadian Rhythm. These two gifts from the sun bring direct benefit to our bones, immune systems, sleep/wake cycles and balancing our moods. Wow and bonus, they also produce or signal other chemicals that have crazy good benefits like antioxidants, anti-inflammatories and anti-cancer, plus they calm the Amygdala (December’s issue for an Amygdala video review) and decrease anxiety.
There are many other benefits from our friend, the light.
Do your own deep dive and see for yourself.
Remember, you have to actually hang out, yup Linger, with our friend to get the benefits!
BEHAVIORAL BENEFITS OF LINGERING IN THE LIGHT
The second part of Lingering in the Light impacts our behavioral choices. Here we need to break down this phrase, into two separate skillsets.
Let’s start with the first skillset of shedding light.
When last we were together, we talked about pasta and pasta making machines. I used these metaphors as a light shining tool in hopes that it would shed some light on this topic of Connection and Disconnection.
Shedding light on our choices and why we are having problems, is highly beneficial for us human beings because… and you might want to sit down for this one… the light helps us to see!
Ok, really? That might have been one of the most obvious things you have ever said to us Cindi!
I know, hear me out
We now know that there are two systems, Disconnection and Connection. We are in charge of which system we choose. We unfortunately use the Disconnection System, much of the time unknowingly.
We remain in the dark because we don’t understand that we keep picking the wrong system or that there’s a system at all!
Well, then it stands to reason, if one is in the dark, shed some light on it!
Maybe you’re now thinking, “Ok Cindi, you make a good point. Turning the light on helps a lot. And yet, I still find myself disconnecting! Why?”
Great question! While shedding light is a very important part of seeing a problem, it’s not the only thing we need to do to be successful.
We must partner the light with the other skillset of Lingering .
Lingering is the art of staying. This is how important details come into a clearer view. The longer we linger, the more we see! So why do we keep struggling with Staying to solve a problem?
Well, I would like to humbly submit that I believe the number one culprit that gets in our way of using the tool of lingering is…
SPEED!
As they say, the devil is in the details.
It’s hard to see those all important, pesky details like the sign that says DISCONNECTED PASTA MACHINE, if you’re moving!
(YES! Even at a slow speed!)
If I had a Connection Coach nickel for every time some one answered “slow down” to my question of what do you need to do if you want to shed some light on a problem… well let’s just say I would have a lot of nickels!
The correct answer (if you haven’t yet guessed it) is STOP!
We can see why learning to STAY, to Linger in the light is so very critical if we are to understand and choose Connection.
Like so many things we talk about, Lingering is a muscle.
Like all muscles, we must use them or lose them!
If we are going to use the tool of Lingering, training ourselves to STOP is the first step.
If we are going to learn to Stay, we are going to need to learn to STOP!
Now where have we heard about Stopping before?
Oh yeah! In the Winter Solstice Addition. You know I love it when things come full circle![
So enjoy lingering in the light because as they say, your future’s so bright you’ll have to wear shades!
Until Next Month,
Connection Coach Cindi