Hi!
Connection Coach Cindi here.
As we enter into this busy holiday season, we’re faced with a conundrum. We need to somehow blend the joyful moments of the season - having fun plans, gathering with loved ones for food and merriment, being present to the faces filled with wonder and excitement with the inevitable stressors of the season - traffic, long lines, crowds, and out of stock items.
We feel the weight of deadlines and invitations, plus the pressures of shopping, cooking, decorating, and family obligations.
All of this leads to the question we ask ourselves each year:
How do I balance and experience the Joys of the season while dodging the stress?
Welcome to this edition of The Monthly Connection, where we’ll shed some light on the Secrets to Having A Holly Jolly Holiday Season.
As always, we are going to start with the Fundamentals of Connection:
First, at the core of my work, I believe that every single problem on planet Earth can be traced back to Disconnection. The resolution to Disconnection is Connection. The way we human beings experience Connection is to be seen and heard, and the first people we need to see and hear are ourselves.
Second, who are the only people we can Change? Yes! Ourselves.
Third, the definition of Connection (to authentic self) is Disconnecting (which we welcome), Reconnecting (where we put our emphasis), and Connecting (Welcome Home You!). The definition of Disconnection is continuing/more disconnecting (from authentic self).
So, let’s break down the phrase “Holly Jolly” to mean having JOY.
First, it’s important to understand that JOY is an inside job! It is not dependent on our external landscape. It’s a feeling that goes beyond just pleasure to include gratitude, patience, kindness, beauty, love, and peace.
In other words, CONNECTION.
JOY only exists in THE NOW. Think about planning an exciting holiday gathering sometime in the future. Where do you feel the Joy? Yes, it’s in THE NOW.
How about a fun holiday gathering from the past? Yup! Still in THE NOW.
Intention and Attention
Intention and Attention are neurological terms.
Intention is our Authentic Self’s goal.
Attention is where we put our Focus. And where we put our focus is where we put our Energy.
The goal is to put our Attention on our Intention.
Our INTENTION in this newsletter is to have a Holly Jolly Holiday Season.
So if Holly Jolly = JOY (gratitude, beauty, patience, kindness), then our ATTENTION (our focus and energy) is to be placed on JOY.
Sounds Simple, right? Well… simple does not mean easy!
Watch the video below to see what might get in our way.
So, as we have just heard, the Amygdala (which scans solely for danger) puts our ATTENTION (our focus and energy) ONLY on the stressors, not on JOY (the good stuff). Not only is all of our ENERGY (Attention) going to the Stressors (traffic, long lines, out-of-stock items), but it’s simultaneously not getting any of the good stuff - JOY (no beauty, no patience, no kindness). It’s a double whammy of Stress! We are emotionally On fire!
So, is there something we can do about this?
Well, yes, there is.
The Fire Extinguisher
What do the firefighters tell us to do when we’re ON FIRE?
Call 911
STOP, DROP, and ROLL
The same is true when we’re Emotionally ON FIRE!
Instead of 9-1-1, call 4-4-4 (as in the 4-4-4 Breath technique). It’s the MOST important tool in our toolbox. (Click here to watch the breath video again).
STOP 🛑 DROP 💧 and ROLL 🚙
STOP 🛑
Take our focus off the External Landscape. Here are some tips on how to stop: Breathe 4-4-4, close your eyes, say STOP (as in OUT LOUD to yourself), and stop talking. (No cheating…don’t talk in your head either!)
DROP 💧
Into SELF, shifting our ATTENTION from external stressors like traffic and long lines to putting our ATTENTION on our internal landscape like JOY (gratitude, beauty, kindness).
Come out of past/ future focus into RETURNING to THE NOW, where our Authentic Selves live.
Here are some tips on how to do this: movement, nature, art, body scans, journaling, meditation, shaking (which helps muscle release), yoga poses, and putting ATTENTION on the good stuff.
ROLL 🚙
Welcome Home You!
Where we are connected to our Authentic selves.
Where we are back in THE NOW.
We can now put our ATTENTION on our INTENTION and Roll with a choice that Matches our INTENTION!
This is why The NOW is the best present ever!
Here is a bit of Homework, Enjoy practicing with these tools as you have a Holly Jolly Holiday Season!
A reminder… The Monthly Connection comes to your inbox on the first Thursday of every month! If you know someone who might connect with The Monthly Connection ( Sorry! That was an irresistible pun from Pocket Cindi), send them some holiday love and forward this to them!
See you in January for the first Monthly Connection of 2025!
As always, thank you for reading.
Your friendly Connection Coach,
Cindi